Cool Stuff

Something cool happened at my job. After feeling the pain of professional rejection, and the far greater pain of having a full caseload for the first time in months, I was notified last week that I am getting promoted. As far as the "just kidding"s of the world go, this one was not so bad.

Of course, now I will feel the pain of trying to dispose of almost a full caseload in about a month. Meanwhile, I've encountered a statistical aberration: two whiny white guys at once. Now, don't get me wrong. These are not assembly-line WWGs. One, having lost the genetic lottery at conception (though not to a horrendous extreme,) then proceeded to accrue a very unfortunate package of environmental influences over his 21 years on this miserable rock. He now looks/talks/walks/acts like a sex offender. And he's charged with a sex offense. Ouch.

The other one has the wild-yet-crystal-clear pale blue eyes of a serial killer, and could easily have been killing dozens of enemy soldiers in hand-to-hand combat during his stint in the military if only we'd had some decent armed conflicts at the time. Granada doesn't really count. This is to say, they are very different clients, and one is "whiny" only in a very strained sense of the word. I'm actually more concerned he might tear a limb off me if he gets any more upset than he already is.

Somehow I'll manage. But alas, my days of salutary neglect under the regime of Good King Laidback Lunchbeer the First are coming to an end. A colleague recently accused me of "never coming to visit." Some clarification: it was a preemptive accusation. This colleague, despite being quite rude by launching a preemptive assault on my character, has a decent point. I'm a pretty terrible human being, quite lazy, and not really a good friend, so it's reasonably foreseeable that I'll completely neglect to stop by to visit my old office once I begin my new job. I will not walk in the building and take the two minute elevator ride to the third floor, despite the fact that the old office is almost directly across the street from the new office, and just so happens to be directly in between the new office and the courthouse. Yes folks, it's true - I'm *that* much of a lazy fucking bastard.

But hey - I'm not bad for a government employee.